Giants defensive backs are only holding tennis balls this year

New York Giants defensive backs don’t grab jerseys, only tennis balls.

The New York Giants strive to set an NFL record for the fewest holding penalties in a season.

It takes some balls to not grab someone else’s jersey when they’re clearly better than you. That’s why football chose you to be a rotational defensive back and not a star wide receiver. So what kind of balls are we talking about? We’re talking about big, yellow felted tennis balls. New head coach Joe Judge is at it again with his Pop Warner principles towards coaching full-grown men.

Will these tennis balls help the New York Giants not go 2-14 this season?

We must give credit where credit is due. When it comes to Jim Boylen punch clocks, Butch Jones Team 121 trash cans and a recently discovered Joe Judge special of making starting quarterbacks like Daniel Jones run laps as if he still plays for the Charlotte Latin Hawks, these big yellow tennis balls take our breath away. It sounds and looks totally stupid, but you know what? It might work!

Why hold a jersey when you’ve got your own personal stress relief balls taped to your hands? Who cares if you look like you’ve drawn the short straw and are forced to play Edward 40-hands as part of your pre-game festivities before heading downtown? If 40 ounces will get you to freedom, but 80 ounces will get you in trouble, what about two ounces of yellow furry freedom in both hands?

I’m not saying the Giants defensive backs will develop Stockholm syndrome with their versions of Wilson, but it means two more chairs will be needed for the wedding party. Lester Hayes had his Stickum when he starred for the Silver and Black and the Giants defensive backs will have their tennis balls. They are now more a part of their hands than Ronnie Lott‘s pinky finger ever was.

Though the Giants have 99 Problems, holding onto a kit ain’t one. We will support this unorthodox and rudimentary coaching method, not like making Daniel Jones run laps for fumbling the football. But once Judge pulls out the dog cones to help get the point across that you need to tackle without your head, we will be more out than Ben McAdoo after he benched Eli Manning in 2017.

Judge’s simple plan is he’ll do anything to help his team win with no pads, no helmets…just balls.

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