The Washington Football Team is a football team, but is it a soccer team?
When you’re The Washington Football Team, you can pick your field: gridiron, pitch or whatever.
We will call the NFC East club “The Washington Football Team” because that’s going to be their name for the entire 2020 NFL season. It is about as unimaginative as many soccer clubs overseas and now increasingly commonplace in the MLS. Washington FC would have been too smart for these dumb dummies. I mean, they have no earthly idea what sport they’re even playing anymore.
How do we know this? Because during their uniform reveal, which actually gave us some pretty cool uniforms, the Washington graphics department cut some major corners by including a stock image from Google of a soccer pitch. Twitter obviously caught this error, now it’s a corner kick for us to have at them for cutting corners. Frankly, it should be a penalty kick, but we’ll play nice today.
Touchdown! Goal! We don’t know the sport The Washington Football Team plays.
Who even had eyes on this?
When owner Daniel Snyder told us to have a Happy Thanksgiving in January, we knew we were in for one hell of a year with this professional football team. Even though they did three smart things by firing Bruce Allen, hiring Ron Rivera and drafting Chase Young, it’s just so hard to stop doing dumb things when that’s what you do all the time.
This is the same franchise who is only changing their nickname because FedEx and other sponsors threatened to back out if they didn’t do it. Snyder got beat to the punch on acquiring the copyrights to dozens of appropriate team nicknames. Do all they do in Washington is eat chicken wings and pound Coors Light? This isn’t Delta Tau Chi, it’s the NFL!
How sure are we the Alabama Crimson Tide aren’t going to sue the team for putting numbers on their helmets? We’ve seen an SEC West team punch up before on an NFC team for copyright infringement. Just ask the Seattle Seahawks who the 12th Man is and before they can respond, Texas A&M University will tell you emphatically they are the home to it, while the Aggies don’t win.
You can’t win if you don’t stop beating yourself. Then again, that’s the only thing The Washington Football Team has been consistently good at for the last twenty years and nothing is showing any signs of changing.